If you guys are anywhere near as excited as I am about this website, you’ll want to postpone Christmas in order to have a suitable calming down period.

This website may not change the world – but it may just change the world.

Here’s a very talented woman:

I hope I can bring all those talents to my website. I will certainly be bringing photographs of socks.

THE EXCITEMENT! IT’S ALMOST UNBEARABLE! Almost.

HALLOWEEN INCOMING ALERT
I am going to a party (yes, I am very popular, I was invited to one party BUT I also had the option of going on the Circle line and watching Blair Witch on my laptop by myself – spooooooky).

The theme of the party is “dystopia”. I thought about going as this whole government, AM I RIGHT GUYS? GUYS? Guys?

My first idea after that incredibly searing satirical zinger was to go as a handmaid, from the Handmaid’s Tale but I think people would just think I was Red Riding Hood and I will NOT tolerate that, not under any circumstances. That bitch can suck my balls. Then, sticking with Atwood, I thought about going as a Craker from Oryx & Crake – but I’m not sure I’ve got the confidence to go to a party nude with blue glowing genitals. Also – I hate being cold.

So, what can I go as, guys? A pigoon? Winston from 1984? The woman with the massive willy sculpture in A Clockwork Orange? A fireman from Fahrenheit 451?

Should I stop reading dystopian fiction and lighten up a little?

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